Dating Yourself
When’s the last time you got all fancy and took yourself out?
Not to meet a man.
Not to hang out with friends.
Simply having AND enjoying time alone in a public setting where you may not normally be alone?
A movie? A bar? A fancy restaurant? A sporting event?
If the answer is never, consider changing that.
Especially if you’re single and not going on dates or ones that fulfill you…
OR…
maybe you’re partnered with someone that doesn’t do nice things anymore (or hasn’t ever…girl, you okay?).
There’s no need to wait for a man in order to put yourself in the spaces and places you want to be.
I don’t know if it’s the hair, embracing 38, OR the fact that I am ALLOWING myself to fulfill my heart’s desires.
I am finally at a point of saying — THIS. IS. WHAT. I. WANT. IN. MY. LIFE.
Without feeling shame or guilt around those desires being TOO MUCH or something conditioning has potentially told me I should not want (or can’t have).
The message I want you to soak up in this read is…you can want whatever TF you want.
And I’ve found that in myself through a new hobby…taking myself out to eat.
I’m not talking about grabbing take out and going home.
I’m talking about getting dressed up and going out alone.
A week ago, I got my hair done. It’s been over a year since I’ve had long flowy locks.
Love the braids, BUT….holy shit, I AM FEELING myself.
That night I was supposed to hang out with a guy that I’ve been casually seeing for over a month, but he needed a night to recharge.
We had a long night the night before. PHEWW.
BUT, I didn’t want to sit home in this VIBEEE, so I did what a Conscious 𝗛.𝗢.𝗘.™️ turning 38 in three days would do.
I put on an Amazon dress, called an Uber, and took myself to one of the nicer sushi restaurants here in Austin.
Sitting at the sushi bar, sandwiched in between two couples, I kept thinking that maybe people were wondering why I was eating alone.
In the grand scheme of things, I’m quite sure nobody gave a single fuck about why I was eating alone.
I ordered a glass of wine, some miso soup, and two sushi rolls.
As I waited for my sushi to come out, the hot miso soup and the wine arrived.
My phone was dying, so I had the server charge it for me.
There I was alone, in a sushi restaurant.
No one to talk to.
Nothing to scroll mindlessly.
Just me. Enjoying myself.
And alone, not because I’m not surrounded by amazing friends or because I was self-isolating.
I was there alone AND my entire life was FULL.
It was one of the simplest, yet most meaningful pleasures.
I devoured my two rolls and ordered a few pieces of nigiri. I asked for another glass of wine and it came back a substantially “heavy pour” as noted by my server.
Later in the night, my server came back with “a gift on the house,” — a piece of nigiri.
The manager ( a man) came up to me and specifically complimented me, “I like your style.”
And while he might have been talking about my physical appearance, I believe what he was complimenting me on was sitting there alone and thriving.
I order the Passion Fruit cheesecake and ask for my check.
The Universe confirmed that I was supposed to be there. When my check came, it was $102.00 even and $8.41 for tax…my birthday just three days before the actual date on the receipt.
A bit emotional, I called an Uber and head home, proud of myself for allowing the WOMAN to come out of me and be seen and celebrated.
I think dressing up, and taking myself out is a new hobby. One that I need to get my bank account to catch up with me wanting to do weekly, but something I feel proud in being able to do.
Last night, I took myself to a 4-star hotel.
As I entered the door, I had an immediate feeling of—’holy shit, I don’t belong here.’
Decked out in my Abercrombie body suit and jeans.
I walked around, curiously looking at the lobby.
Curiously looking at the people in it.
I put my phone away…releasing the safety net of distraction, so I could be with my thoughts and emotions.
Hearing the thoughts racing. The voice inside saying LEAVE.
I know that voice isn’t the one of intuition.
Instead, it’s the voice of my ego, wanting me to play small.
So, I found one of the last empty chairs at the bar and I waited for the bartender to come over.
“Menu?”
“Yes, please.”
“Something to drink?”
“Yes, a margarita, on the rocks.”
And I sat there and enjoyed my marg, some oysters, and a delicious Asian salad.
The bartender came over as I was done, and handed me my receipt.
I look at him and say…”I’m going to have dessert too.” 💅🏾
I enjoyed the rich, espresso-soaked tiramisu and pay my bill.
I ordered an Uber and walked out of the bar, a bit differently.
Head high. Another level of confidence had been achieved.
If you’ve never ventured out, gotten dolled up, and treated yourself, I 11/10 recommend it.
What you’ll inadvertently be doing is raising the bar for those around you and those that you choose to give your energy too.
After all, if you can enjoy the company of yourself, you’ll never settle for someone that is only giving you half or a quarter of the attention and experiences you desire.
And that’s The Conscious 𝗛.𝗢.𝗘.™️, a woman Honing & Owning Empowerment. 😽